I just realized that I never wrote about seeing Collective Soul & getting backstage at the Regatta on last Friday & meeting Shinedown & Eight Days Gone. Hmmm...that was a fun night. I'll get to it here in the next few days. Maybe.
A Night on Fleet Street
Last night I arrived in Baltimore at about 8 PM. Rose & I went down to chow down on some mexican cuisine at Don Pablo's. After gorging & having a 30 minute conversation with our hot, young waiter, Jim, about his career aspirations & why he should visit West Virginia, we sauntered down the street to check out the night life on "The Avenue". The one bar Rose had in mind was called Bayou Blues Cafe. We walked up to the door & peered through the glass to find a very large woman in a red t-shirt shaking her groove thang more rapidly than I would have thought possible for a woman of her size. Hell...I'm not that...um...voluptuous and I can't fucking move that fast!!!! Rose said I just stopped on the sidewalk and starred at her slack-jawed. Yeah. I decided that we didn't need to go there.
So then she drove me down to Fleet Street/Broadway area, which is one of the many happening party areas in Baltimore. It was a block of pubs, clubs, eateries, & charming little shops situated right along the Bay. After walking around to scout out live music, being approached by more than a few inebriated males, & avoiding a couple of piles of puke on the cobblestone streets, we decided on a little pub called The Horse You Rode In On. There was a live band, a cover band, but live music nonetheless. I enjoyed a couple of New Castle's, courtesy of my sis, chatted with the bassist, & then Rose & I left to walk down one of the piers.
It was absolutely beautiful out there last night. The lights were reflecting on the water & a constant breeze was blowing in from the Bay. The sounds of the bars & of people laughing & talking flittered down & mixed with the wind & the lapping of the water. It was perfect. Another one of those moments where I found myself thinking, "This is so magical. If I were experiencing this with a guy I would fall in love with him due to the time & place." It felt right being there.
How to be a Catholic in two easy steps...
I went to my first Roman Catholic mass with Rose this morning. The service was more ceremonial than the Pentecostal services that I grew up with, however it was more modern than the Greek Orthodox services I attended for a short time while in Huntington. Having attended the Orthodox masses in the past, I understood much of what was going on & much of the symbolism involved in the actions & church design. One thing I had never experienced or seen before was the holy water at the door, with which everyone dips their fingers in and then crosses themselves as the enter or exit the sanctuary. The other new & interesting thing was the kneeling & standing. Kneeling bench down, kneel, say some stuff, kneeling bench up, stand, say some more stuff, kneeling bench down, kneel, say some stuff, & so on & so forth. I believe that the first two steps to being Catholic are 1) Kneeling & 2) Standing. If you can kneel & stand, the Catholicism is for you, my friend!!!
Seriously, I don't mean to belittle the Catholic religion in any way. I actually enjoyed the service this morning & the ceremony of it all. I found myself wishing that it were more formal, like the Orthodox services I had previously attended. I could see myself attending mass once a week...and then maybe a meditation circle once a week as well. Why not? Might as well cover all of the bases, right? After mass, I wanted to explore the cemetary behind St. Joseph's & so we walked around for a bit back there, reading the names & dates on the tombstones.
170 miles in a Mercedes
After the cemetary, we set out to find the Good Shephard Center, where I will be interviewing for a counseling position tomorrow. We followed the directions given to me by the HR person from the Center...and ended up driving around & around for hours!!! Tired, frustrated, & starving, we finally started calling people, hoping to find someone to look up directions online. My beloved Chris Jarrett was home & kind enough to look on MapQuest for us. (God bless you, Mr. J! I love you!!!) It turned out that a very crucial step in the directions was left out by the HR lady involving a split in the road. (Insert explative directed at HR lady here.) So after almost three trips around Baltimore or 170 miles or 4 hours later, we finally found the fucking thing!!!! Also, I know how to get to Fleet Street, the Inner Harbour, & my sister's house all by myself...so I suppose there was an upside to all of this circular driving. Now I only hope that I'll be able to manage the traffic on the Beltway in the morning!
Dinner at the Harbour
After finding our Questing Beast, we then headed down to the Inner Harbour for some grub. Parking & walking happened & then we found ourselves grubbing down on some meiocre americanized asian food on the outdoor patio at one of the malls there. Dinner was filling & relaxing, as we had a lovely view of the water, the "pirate" ship, & all of the activity going on in that area. The sun set as we ate our rice, noodles, & sesame chicken (packed with MSG) & enjoyed that beautiful & constant breeze of which I am growing very fond. I took a few pictures of the Harbour area, which are posted above.
Casper Meets Wendy, the Red-Headed Slut
On our way home Rose called her friend Jim & we convinced him, after much coercing & gnashing of teeth, to come over for some chips, salsa, & conversation. He initially didn't want to meet me for fear of what I would end up writing about him on here. =) Of course, I don't know if that's true or something he said to be clever. At any rate, it was terribly amusing. Rose tried to get me to write about him under the code name of Casper...but I don't do code names.
He hung out for a couple of hours, indulging in chips & salsa, while conversing about the presidential candidates, the events of the weekend, music, his band, Rose's Mr. Wonderful - Mr. Bill, Megan, my interview, Rose's sperm allergy, night terrors, out of body experiences, shadow people, demons, aliens, & the Blue Guy that haunts his thoughts & fills him with terrors of night terrors. =)
Jim strikes me as a very intelligent, witty, & trustworthy guy. In short, I liked him. I'm glad that my sister has made such a friend & if I move to the Baltimore area, I would request the pleasure of his company on a regular basis. Every word, explicit & hardcore truth, my friend. I promise. =)
Wish me Luck!!!!
Now I must to bed, for I have yon interview forthwith on the morrow! I wonder what will happen?! I'm a bit nervous...but not. I'm interviewing them as well tomorrow, deciding if it's a place that I want to work. I think I'm more nervous about having to decide if I want to move here or if I want to stay at home. It will be such a tough decision. Or perhaps not. Fate will point me in the direction I need to go. She has thus far.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Oh man. What a night. I'm so fucking lucky I'm not hung over right now. =)
Crystal, my new friend Eric Parsons, & I went out to the Empty Glass last night to hear Noizbox. We got there just as they were finishing up their last song. I was so disappointed! I saw Roadblock, the bassist for Noizbox, after the show & he finally gave me the Noizbox CD that I've been coveting for 2 weeks now. He advised me to stick around to see the next band, FreekBass. (That's bass as in "base", not like the fish.)
So Crystal, Eric, & I played a 30 minute game of 1913 while waiting for the music to start. Plus I wanted to get a little fucked up because we were celebrating my Birthday!!! (Yay me! I'm alive! Look at me! Wooooo!) For those of you that have never played 1913, let me fill you in. It's not a hard game really. I'm not even sure it's a game. It's just something that me, Ben, his old neighbor Beth, & her friend Rachel all thought up one night while he was living in that cinderblock joke of an apartment at 1913 6th Ave. back in 1998. =) The same apartment in which Eric Hoffman had mold growing on his bedroom wall and opted to "let if thrive". Nasty, nasty. Oh, them were the days, folks!
Anyway, in 1913 a person has to toast to something and you all take a drink and then the toast passes to the next person, and the next, and the next, and so on. You keep going & going & going. But if a person hesitates to toast to anything, he/she has to finish her entire drink right then and there while everyone else gets a little break from drinking. =) Last night we went with the 3 drink rule if you fuck up the flow of toasting. We didn't want anyone getting too hurt. =)
We got good and toasty (Pun oh so intended) and then went up front to enjoy the funka-delic grooves of FreekBass (Like "base", not the fish.) They were awesome! You guys need to check out the link I posted up above. =) They play in Columbus next month boys...maybe we could go see 'em? If I'm not in Baltimore that is.
I'm about to leave to go up to Baltimore...all my shit's packed and I just thought I'd write this first. I have my job interview Monday. I don't know if I want to get the job or not. If I do then that means I have to make one fucking hard decision. Eeeeeek!
Anyway, back to last night, I saw Rob at the Glass, so that mystery is solved. He was there with his girlfriend. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "You are a complete ass. You don't tell a girl you'll 'definitely call' and then not call, at least to let her know what's up. " His answer was that he didn't have a phone. Which he doesn't and his mom's was disconnected last week. Hmmm...well...fuck it. I'm just glad that I didn't get that emotionally invested in the situation.
Alrighty. Well that's that. Wish me luck...maybe. I don't know what I bloody fucking want! More money, that's for sure. And I'm tired of living alone. I need a roomie to keep me from going nucking futz! =) Of course, when I had roomies, with the exception of Ken, they all drove me nucking futz! =)
Meeeeeeeep!
Crystal, my new friend Eric Parsons, & I went out to the Empty Glass last night to hear Noizbox. We got there just as they were finishing up their last song. I was so disappointed! I saw Roadblock, the bassist for Noizbox, after the show & he finally gave me the Noizbox CD that I've been coveting for 2 weeks now. He advised me to stick around to see the next band, FreekBass. (That's bass as in "base", not like the fish.)
So Crystal, Eric, & I played a 30 minute game of 1913 while waiting for the music to start. Plus I wanted to get a little fucked up because we were celebrating my Birthday!!! (Yay me! I'm alive! Look at me! Wooooo!) For those of you that have never played 1913, let me fill you in. It's not a hard game really. I'm not even sure it's a game. It's just something that me, Ben, his old neighbor Beth, & her friend Rachel all thought up one night while he was living in that cinderblock joke of an apartment at 1913 6th Ave. back in 1998. =) The same apartment in which Eric Hoffman had mold growing on his bedroom wall and opted to "let if thrive". Nasty, nasty. Oh, them were the days, folks!
Anyway, in 1913 a person has to toast to something and you all take a drink and then the toast passes to the next person, and the next, and the next, and so on. You keep going & going & going. But if a person hesitates to toast to anything, he/she has to finish her entire drink right then and there while everyone else gets a little break from drinking. =) Last night we went with the 3 drink rule if you fuck up the flow of toasting. We didn't want anyone getting too hurt. =)
We got good and toasty (Pun oh so intended) and then went up front to enjoy the funka-delic grooves of FreekBass (Like "base", not the fish.) They were awesome! You guys need to check out the link I posted up above. =) They play in Columbus next month boys...maybe we could go see 'em? If I'm not in Baltimore that is.
I'm about to leave to go up to Baltimore...all my shit's packed and I just thought I'd write this first. I have my job interview Monday. I don't know if I want to get the job or not. If I do then that means I have to make one fucking hard decision. Eeeeeek!
Anyway, back to last night, I saw Rob at the Glass, so that mystery is solved. He was there with his girlfriend. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "You are a complete ass. You don't tell a girl you'll 'definitely call' and then not call, at least to let her know what's up. " His answer was that he didn't have a phone. Which he doesn't and his mom's was disconnected last week. Hmmm...well...fuck it. I'm just glad that I didn't get that emotionally invested in the situation.
Alrighty. Well that's that. Wish me luck...maybe. I don't know what I bloody fucking want! More money, that's for sure. And I'm tired of living alone. I need a roomie to keep me from going nucking futz! =) Of course, when I had roomies, with the exception of Ken, they all drove me nucking futz! =)
Meeeeeeeep!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
We gonna party like it's your Birthday!
Well, not really. You know...as you get older birthdays really do get to be less & less of a big deal. I'm 26 today. Am I happy with where my life is right now? Well...I'm doing better than I was last year. I'm not dating Steve. =) (You know your my boy, Stevie! That's just revenge for that comment yesterday!)
Yeah, I'm cool with my life. I'm poor, but I've always been poor. I'm working in a field in which I get to help people. I'm slightly overweight, but that will change as soon as I actually do something about it. I have great tits, a big, goofy smile, & a fun personality...(maybe). I had a wonderful job interview at SSA DDS on Tuesday, a good phone interview with the Good Shepherd Center in Baltimore, MD on Tuesday, & I have an face-to-face interview with the Good Shepherd Center on Monday the 13th. I could possibly be making $28, 000 in Baltimore.
So now I'm going to spend my evening with my neighbors, Matt & Scott, watching Fight Club, eating pizza, & drinking beer. Fuck your khakis!! Fuck Martha Stewart!! Wooo!!!
Here's to me & being 26! May my breasts always be as beautiful as they are today, may I never lose my sense of humor, may I never give up hope, may I always be able to live in the moment, may I never fear death!
Well, not really. You know...as you get older birthdays really do get to be less & less of a big deal. I'm 26 today. Am I happy with where my life is right now? Well...I'm doing better than I was last year. I'm not dating Steve. =) (You know your my boy, Stevie! That's just revenge for that comment yesterday!)
Yeah, I'm cool with my life. I'm poor, but I've always been poor. I'm working in a field in which I get to help people. I'm slightly overweight, but that will change as soon as I actually do something about it. I have great tits, a big, goofy smile, & a fun personality...(maybe). I had a wonderful job interview at SSA DDS on Tuesday, a good phone interview with the Good Shepherd Center in Baltimore, MD on Tuesday, & I have an face-to-face interview with the Good Shepherd Center on Monday the 13th. I could possibly be making $28, 000 in Baltimore.
So now I'm going to spend my evening with my neighbors, Matt & Scott, watching Fight Club, eating pizza, & drinking beer. Fuck your khakis!! Fuck Martha Stewart!! Wooo!!!
Here's to me & being 26! May my breasts always be as beautiful as they are today, may I never lose my sense of humor, may I never give up hope, may I always be able to live in the moment, may I never fear death!
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Wow. What an eventful weekend. God, I'm so fucking tired!!!! And honestly I should be going to bed. Yeah, well, I'll rest when I'm dead.
De chucha de tu madre
Happy 25th Birthday, to Terri Nichole Blankenship! Thank you, Nikki, for being who you are. I love you and I'm so glad that you're back in my life. If you ever try to disappear on me again, I'll beat the fuck out of you. =) You know what they say...best friends are like toilets...they take a lot of shit and you can't go long without one! =)
Miss September
Speaking of birthdays, mine is tomorrow! Isn't it so fucking exciting? I've got a great day planned! I'm going to go to work, work too many hours, and then come home and drool all over my pillow! Huzzah! =)
Yeah...just another day. You know what I wish? I wish that I knew what day I was going to die on, but not the year. Just imagine how relieved you'd be when you lived through that day every year. Now that would give you cause to celebrate. =)
A Copper Moment or Does this make me a Groupie?
Now...on to chronicling the events of the weekend past. I'll start with Thursday, because that's when my party technically started.
Thursday I went to the Regatta with Crystal to hear Copper and Crossfade. I've had the pleasure of seeing Copper three times now & I enjoy them more & more every time. =) In spite of the fact that the lead guitarist experienced some technical difficulty, they put on a wonderful show.
Keith Wallen, the lead singer and miniature John Bon Jovi look-alike, has an excellent voice...strong & clear and brimming with feeling. He's also a very charismatic front man, displaying emotion on his face while belting out each tune & making eye contact with the audience members. I'm not sure if he is aware or not, but he has the uncanny ability to make you think that he's singing to you. Pretty impressive. =) Plus he has very cool rooster-like hair.
The Brad Pitt-esque bassist, Brad Reynolds, has a great nonverbal rapport with the crowd (or maybe just the ladies) & is fairly active on stage, more so than any other "local" band that I've seen. The first time I saw Copper I remember thinking, "Wow! The bassist moves & makes eye contact! Neat!" Granted, he's not hopping around like Brad Stewart from Shinedown or like Flea from the RHCP, but give him time. He'll blossom. =)
Speaking of activity on stage brings us to none other than Mr. Shawn Lickliter, the supposed Keith Richards look-alike & lead guitarist. Compared to this guy, Brad is fucking standing still on stage. Mr. Lickliter (not harder), I salute you! How the fuck you spin around, hold your guitar in the damn air, and still manage to play without fucking up is beyond me. Your no Eddie VanHalen, but you're a hell of an entertainer. And you have very large veins. =)
Last but not least is the man who keeps it all together, the drummer & Dave Matthews look-alike, Brack Owens. Brack has impressed me due to the fact that he not only keeps time in a very "striking" manner (god that was a bad pun), but he sings, & looks good doing it. =) I myself struggle with playing guitar & singing simultaneously. Granted I am a newbie, but I can't fathom having hands & feet all active & throwing singing on top of that. You along with Scottie Ross, drummer for Split Nixon who shares this skill, are a credit to your craft.
Overall, your lyrics are simple, honest, & straight-forward & your melodies catchy. You guys have excellent stage presence...you just look like you're having a hell of a good time & you want to audience to have a good time. Also, you seem to have good onstage communication...it's obvious that you're attentive to what the other guys are doing. That's important. If you continue to think of yourselves as a whole & attend to the image that the whole is presenting, you'll be alright. =) The only problem I see is that although you have your own sound, you sound very similar to some other bands out there right now (like Hoobastank) & the labels might pass you over because they're looking for something more divergent from the norm.
After Copper, came Crossfade. Their sound was interesting, mixing traditional guitar, bass, & drums with a dj who produced all sorts of quirky, weird noises. I enjoyed the fact that they have three singers in the dj, bassist, & lead singer/guitarist. I also enjoyed the fact that the lead singer looks like Chris Cornell...grrr...sexy! I'm sorry I don't have more of an impression than this, but I was starting to get tipsy by the time they went on. =)
Crystal and I stood through a few of Crossfade's songs and then went in search of a sanitary place to urinate in privacy & more Bud Light. On the way back from the toilet I found Mr. Lickliter talking to a lovely young fan & stopped to chat for a moment. The moment passed & Crystal & I continued on our trek to the Bud Light Beer Garden of Glory. Nearly to the promise land, I was stopped by my friend Ros who informed me of some drama between Sherri & Walt. (Man...those two will ever have a tumultuous relationship. I say we kill one of 'em and save ourselves the drama. Who's with me?) A few seconds later, Brad & Brack from Copper saved me from the Sherry & Walt episode by coming over to say "hi" & chat for a minute.
I was pleasantly surprised that the guys in the band remembered me & greeted me so warmly. I was even more pleasantly surprised when Brack decided to hang around & talk with me & Crystal for a while. =) We hung out for a bit, & had the general getting-to-know-you conversation, I turned from band-aid to roadie for a sec & helped them carry a box, all the while saying, "I'm gonna drop it! I'm gonna drop it!", & then hung out some more. There was a cute little chica named Jess that was getting them to sign her jeans & ass & such. I acquired her Sharpie and to draw something on Shawn's back. While I was thinking what to draw, I head someone say, "She's a cool chick...she'll draw something cool." Ha!!!! I fooled them!!! I drew a stupid looking tree on Shawn's back along with my little phrase: To live in the moment and never beyond. Sucker!!!!!!! I hope the rubbing alcohol worked and it didn't interfere with you getting ass from your nubile, 17 year old girlfriend. =)
I was invited to come back to the hotel to hang & told them I'd think about it while taking Crystal home. I discussed it with her, dropped her off, mulled it over, & decided to go back to my apartment. I got there and hopped in the shower to wash off the icky sweat from the night & was putting my PJs on when I got a phone call. It was Brack. "Are you coming?", he said. I hesitated for a second and then said, "Yeah. I'm coming." I thought, why not? What the hell? So I threw on some clothes, brushed my hair, put on a bit of powder & lipstick & flew out the door. Impulsive? Yes.
I pulled up to the hotel to find the drummer from Crossfade talking to a couple of people. There were a couple of tour busses in the lot & I recognized Copper's trailer. I walked inside & proceeded up to 417, which was Crossfade's room. I stopped for a moment to listen as I noticed the sounds of partying or even talking were quite absent. Instead I heard a girl giggle followed by the gruff laugh of a young guy. Yup. Somebody in Crossfade got laid that night. =)
So then I turned around & went to 503. Brack, Shawn, Brad, & a-guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-was-really-nice-and-in-another-band were in the room. Upon my arrival, Brad asked me & Brack to go on a beer run. So a beer run later, we returned to the Holiday Inn Express in South Ridge to kick back, have a few beers, & talk. After a bit, Keith came in from hanging out & driving up to the Capitol to chat with a cute, little brunette chica.
They talked about the show, their impression of the other bands, their liking for Crossfade, about what makes a good drummer, a potential future collaboration with another Knoxville band, & discussed whether or not they should release another single before being signed. I watched Keith get excited about the prospect of eating a sandwich & then sadly disappointed when he found that the mayonnaise was Hellman's. (I think it was Hellman's...) They offered me sandwiches. I ate a piece of bread. They had me guess which famous people they supposedly looked like. (I still don't think that Shawn looks like Keith Richards. You're way too handsome for that, Shawn.) All the while, Brack found ways to casually make physical contact. =)
I contributed little to the discussion, adding a thought or joke here & there, but mainly just observing behaviors and getting a feel for each individual personality in the room. My very vague impressions: Keith seems like a very genuine, open, honest, friendly, accommodating guy. Not much guile in this one. The word "perky" even comes to mind...But that might just be the hair. Shawn was friendly, funny, somewhat guarded, & stuck me as not terribly outgoing. Perhaps he was simply tired? Brad was very vocal, opinionated, guarded, and in possession of an amusing, but abrasive sense of humor. He likes to get a reaction from people. Brack was friendly, quiet, soft-spoken, very laid back, a listener, & observer. It seemed to me that he's a bit of an introvert, has or had low self-esteem in the recent past, & lets people take advantage of him. Overall, they're a very nice, very fun group of guys & I hope to hang out with them again.
As the minutes ticked by, I began nodding off. Brack motioned for me to lie down next to him for a bit & I did. He told me that he "didn't do this", meaning bring girls back to the hotel room. I arched an eyebrow skeptically & gave him a half-smile. Right. I'm too cynical to believe that. But I did enjoy lying next to him, listening to the conversation, & being part of that whole moment. I announced that I should be getting home as I had to work & he asked me to stay. Obviously, with four other guys in the room there would be no chance of sex, so I agreed. I slept for a couple of hours cuddled up next to him & then stole out at 6:30 AM, after everyone was asleep. On my way out, I grabbed a couple of muffins & some orange juice...gotta love the free breakfast!...and drove home with a smile on my face.
Was it impulsive? Yes. Was it stupid? Yes. It could've ended poorly, I know. I can see Shawn, Chris, Sean, Ben, Pat, & Ken all looking their noses down at me right now. I know, guys, I know!!! I've never done anything like that in my entire life, I know it was stupid, but it was fun as hell!!! And you all can't tell me that if some hot chick from a band invited you back to hang out a bit in her hotel, you wouldn't go!!! Well...maybe Chris & Shawn would turn her down due to apathy. =)
Do I expect to hear from Brack? No. Would I like to? Yes. We live too far apart for anything other than friendship, but I'm such a collector of friends. =)
Alright...well that was Thursday. I still need to discuss Friday & Saturday's escapades, but that'll have to wait. My red Martha Steward sheets are beckoning me thither to my soft haven of rest. Goodnight!!!
De chucha de tu madre
Happy 25th Birthday, to Terri Nichole Blankenship! Thank you, Nikki, for being who you are. I love you and I'm so glad that you're back in my life. If you ever try to disappear on me again, I'll beat the fuck out of you. =) You know what they say...best friends are like toilets...they take a lot of shit and you can't go long without one! =)
Miss September
Speaking of birthdays, mine is tomorrow! Isn't it so fucking exciting? I've got a great day planned! I'm going to go to work, work too many hours, and then come home and drool all over my pillow! Huzzah! =)
Yeah...just another day. You know what I wish? I wish that I knew what day I was going to die on, but not the year. Just imagine how relieved you'd be when you lived through that day every year. Now that would give you cause to celebrate. =)
A Copper Moment or Does this make me a Groupie?
Now...on to chronicling the events of the weekend past. I'll start with Thursday, because that's when my party technically started.
Thursday I went to the Regatta with Crystal to hear Copper and Crossfade. I've had the pleasure of seeing Copper three times now & I enjoy them more & more every time. =) In spite of the fact that the lead guitarist experienced some technical difficulty, they put on a wonderful show.
Keith Wallen, the lead singer and miniature John Bon Jovi look-alike, has an excellent voice...strong & clear and brimming with feeling. He's also a very charismatic front man, displaying emotion on his face while belting out each tune & making eye contact with the audience members. I'm not sure if he is aware or not, but he has the uncanny ability to make you think that he's singing to you. Pretty impressive. =) Plus he has very cool rooster-like hair.
The Brad Pitt-esque bassist, Brad Reynolds, has a great nonverbal rapport with the crowd (or maybe just the ladies) & is fairly active on stage, more so than any other "local" band that I've seen. The first time I saw Copper I remember thinking, "Wow! The bassist moves & makes eye contact! Neat!" Granted, he's not hopping around like Brad Stewart from Shinedown or like Flea from the RHCP, but give him time. He'll blossom. =)
Speaking of activity on stage brings us to none other than Mr. Shawn Lickliter, the supposed Keith Richards look-alike & lead guitarist. Compared to this guy, Brad is fucking standing still on stage. Mr. Lickliter (not harder), I salute you! How the fuck you spin around, hold your guitar in the damn air, and still manage to play without fucking up is beyond me. Your no Eddie VanHalen, but you're a hell of an entertainer. And you have very large veins. =)
Last but not least is the man who keeps it all together, the drummer & Dave Matthews look-alike, Brack Owens. Brack has impressed me due to the fact that he not only keeps time in a very "striking" manner (god that was a bad pun), but he sings, & looks good doing it. =) I myself struggle with playing guitar & singing simultaneously. Granted I am a newbie, but I can't fathom having hands & feet all active & throwing singing on top of that. You along with Scottie Ross, drummer for Split Nixon who shares this skill, are a credit to your craft.
Overall, your lyrics are simple, honest, & straight-forward & your melodies catchy. You guys have excellent stage presence...you just look like you're having a hell of a good time & you want to audience to have a good time. Also, you seem to have good onstage communication...it's obvious that you're attentive to what the other guys are doing. That's important. If you continue to think of yourselves as a whole & attend to the image that the whole is presenting, you'll be alright. =) The only problem I see is that although you have your own sound, you sound very similar to some other bands out there right now (like Hoobastank) & the labels might pass you over because they're looking for something more divergent from the norm.
After Copper, came Crossfade. Their sound was interesting, mixing traditional guitar, bass, & drums with a dj who produced all sorts of quirky, weird noises. I enjoyed the fact that they have three singers in the dj, bassist, & lead singer/guitarist. I also enjoyed the fact that the lead singer looks like Chris Cornell...grrr...sexy! I'm sorry I don't have more of an impression than this, but I was starting to get tipsy by the time they went on. =)
Crystal and I stood through a few of Crossfade's songs and then went in search of a sanitary place to urinate in privacy & more Bud Light. On the way back from the toilet I found Mr. Lickliter talking to a lovely young fan & stopped to chat for a moment. The moment passed & Crystal & I continued on our trek to the Bud Light Beer Garden of Glory. Nearly to the promise land, I was stopped by my friend Ros who informed me of some drama between Sherri & Walt. (Man...those two will ever have a tumultuous relationship. I say we kill one of 'em and save ourselves the drama. Who's with me?) A few seconds later, Brad & Brack from Copper saved me from the Sherry & Walt episode by coming over to say "hi" & chat for a minute.
I was pleasantly surprised that the guys in the band remembered me & greeted me so warmly. I was even more pleasantly surprised when Brack decided to hang around & talk with me & Crystal for a while. =) We hung out for a bit, & had the general getting-to-know-you conversation, I turned from band-aid to roadie for a sec & helped them carry a box, all the while saying, "I'm gonna drop it! I'm gonna drop it!", & then hung out some more. There was a cute little chica named Jess that was getting them to sign her jeans & ass & such. I acquired her Sharpie and to draw something on Shawn's back. While I was thinking what to draw, I head someone say, "She's a cool chick...she'll draw something cool." Ha!!!! I fooled them!!! I drew a stupid looking tree on Shawn's back along with my little phrase: To live in the moment and never beyond. Sucker!!!!!!! I hope the rubbing alcohol worked and it didn't interfere with you getting ass from your nubile, 17 year old girlfriend. =)
I was invited to come back to the hotel to hang & told them I'd think about it while taking Crystal home. I discussed it with her, dropped her off, mulled it over, & decided to go back to my apartment. I got there and hopped in the shower to wash off the icky sweat from the night & was putting my PJs on when I got a phone call. It was Brack. "Are you coming?", he said. I hesitated for a second and then said, "Yeah. I'm coming." I thought, why not? What the hell? So I threw on some clothes, brushed my hair, put on a bit of powder & lipstick & flew out the door. Impulsive? Yes.
I pulled up to the hotel to find the drummer from Crossfade talking to a couple of people. There were a couple of tour busses in the lot & I recognized Copper's trailer. I walked inside & proceeded up to 417, which was Crossfade's room. I stopped for a moment to listen as I noticed the sounds of partying or even talking were quite absent. Instead I heard a girl giggle followed by the gruff laugh of a young guy. Yup. Somebody in Crossfade got laid that night. =)
So then I turned around & went to 503. Brack, Shawn, Brad, & a-guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-was-really-nice-and-in-another-band were in the room. Upon my arrival, Brad asked me & Brack to go on a beer run. So a beer run later, we returned to the Holiday Inn Express in South Ridge to kick back, have a few beers, & talk. After a bit, Keith came in from hanging out & driving up to the Capitol to chat with a cute, little brunette chica.
They talked about the show, their impression of the other bands, their liking for Crossfade, about what makes a good drummer, a potential future collaboration with another Knoxville band, & discussed whether or not they should release another single before being signed. I watched Keith get excited about the prospect of eating a sandwich & then sadly disappointed when he found that the mayonnaise was Hellman's. (I think it was Hellman's...) They offered me sandwiches. I ate a piece of bread. They had me guess which famous people they supposedly looked like. (I still don't think that Shawn looks like Keith Richards. You're way too handsome for that, Shawn.) All the while, Brack found ways to casually make physical contact. =)
I contributed little to the discussion, adding a thought or joke here & there, but mainly just observing behaviors and getting a feel for each individual personality in the room. My very vague impressions: Keith seems like a very genuine, open, honest, friendly, accommodating guy. Not much guile in this one. The word "perky" even comes to mind...But that might just be the hair. Shawn was friendly, funny, somewhat guarded, & stuck me as not terribly outgoing. Perhaps he was simply tired? Brad was very vocal, opinionated, guarded, and in possession of an amusing, but abrasive sense of humor. He likes to get a reaction from people. Brack was friendly, quiet, soft-spoken, very laid back, a listener, & observer. It seemed to me that he's a bit of an introvert, has or had low self-esteem in the recent past, & lets people take advantage of him. Overall, they're a very nice, very fun group of guys & I hope to hang out with them again.
As the minutes ticked by, I began nodding off. Brack motioned for me to lie down next to him for a bit & I did. He told me that he "didn't do this", meaning bring girls back to the hotel room. I arched an eyebrow skeptically & gave him a half-smile. Right. I'm too cynical to believe that. But I did enjoy lying next to him, listening to the conversation, & being part of that whole moment. I announced that I should be getting home as I had to work & he asked me to stay. Obviously, with four other guys in the room there would be no chance of sex, so I agreed. I slept for a couple of hours cuddled up next to him & then stole out at 6:30 AM, after everyone was asleep. On my way out, I grabbed a couple of muffins & some orange juice...gotta love the free breakfast!...and drove home with a smile on my face.
Was it impulsive? Yes. Was it stupid? Yes. It could've ended poorly, I know. I can see Shawn, Chris, Sean, Ben, Pat, & Ken all looking their noses down at me right now. I know, guys, I know!!! I've never done anything like that in my entire life, I know it was stupid, but it was fun as hell!!! And you all can't tell me that if some hot chick from a band invited you back to hang out a bit in her hotel, you wouldn't go!!! Well...maybe Chris & Shawn would turn her down due to apathy. =)
Do I expect to hear from Brack? No. Would I like to? Yes. We live too far apart for anything other than friendship, but I'm such a collector of friends. =)
Alright...well that was Thursday. I still need to discuss Friday & Saturday's escapades, but that'll have to wait. My red Martha Steward sheets are beckoning me thither to my soft haven of rest. Goodnight!!!
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Have you ever tried following the moon?
This afternoon after work, I went up to Magic Maker's costume shop in Huntington looking for the perfect gypsy/fortune teller outfit for the upcoming Murder Mystery Party. I've been assigned the role of Madame Mama, "an off-kilter mystic, who is more likely to say something useless & bizarre than something valuable or wise". (I get to go into trances & foresee people's deaths all evening! It should be a good night! )
Anyway, they didn't have quite what I was looking for at the price I was looking for. So I stopped to visit & have lunch/dinner with Nikki, chatted for a bit, & then proceeded back to lovely Saint Albans.
On my way down 64E, just past the Teays Valley exit, I found the moon looming up over the tops of the trees. It was swollen, blood red, & peeking out from behind two black clouds. Set against a deep midnight blue sky, this image was breathtaking. I wish that I were a true poet or an artist so that I could paint it for you.
I was so caught up in it's beauty that I started to sing to it. And I followed it eastward, towards home, singing all the way. Once I got into Saint Albans, it had, as I suspected it would, turned a bright golden Harvest Moon yellow. I drove around the Loop and then made a right onto Pennsylvania toward my apartment. Just after I made the turn, I glimpsed to the left & saw it peering down at me inquisitively between night-blackened tree branches. Impulsively, I turned left & drove back to Kanawha Terrace. I would take a picture of tonight's very full, golden moon.
On Kanawha Terrace, I looked up & didn't see her, so I drove down to 6th Avenue. And there she was, looking down at me from above the BB&T bank building. I drove down 6th Avenue, but she dimmed a bit under the humming white glow of the street lights. I drove across the tacks to Route 60. I would go to the park & capture her there. There would be nothing to block my lens & she would be unable to hide. And so I drove down to Roadside Park.
Once there I got out of my car, walked past the teenagers looking guilty in their car, walked past the blue jungle gym/slide with the yellow top, & stopped next to the swings. It seemed that the closer I walked, the farther away she became. Now she was looming up above the Bayer Crop Science center across the river in Institute.
I stood there staring at her for a few minutes, admiring her beauty, enjoying the feel of the night. The air smelled a little more crisp than usual, the heady scent of summer green beginning to fade. It felt like September. It felt like home.
I stood there a moment longer & then turned away, back to my car. It had been a while since I had tried to follow the moon and I had forgotten. The closer you walk, the harder you try, the more you reach, the farther away she becomes. The moon is something to be enjoyed from a distance & for a moment. Not something to be captured. The moment you try to hold it, it slips away.
You could spend your whole life chasing the moon.
This afternoon after work, I went up to Magic Maker's costume shop in Huntington looking for the perfect gypsy/fortune teller outfit for the upcoming Murder Mystery Party. I've been assigned the role of Madame Mama, "an off-kilter mystic, who is more likely to say something useless & bizarre than something valuable or wise". (I get to go into trances & foresee people's deaths all evening! It should be a good night! )
Anyway, they didn't have quite what I was looking for at the price I was looking for. So I stopped to visit & have lunch/dinner with Nikki, chatted for a bit, & then proceeded back to lovely Saint Albans.
On my way down 64E, just past the Teays Valley exit, I found the moon looming up over the tops of the trees. It was swollen, blood red, & peeking out from behind two black clouds. Set against a deep midnight blue sky, this image was breathtaking. I wish that I were a true poet or an artist so that I could paint it for you.
I was so caught up in it's beauty that I started to sing to it. And I followed it eastward, towards home, singing all the way. Once I got into Saint Albans, it had, as I suspected it would, turned a bright golden Harvest Moon yellow. I drove around the Loop and then made a right onto Pennsylvania toward my apartment. Just after I made the turn, I glimpsed to the left & saw it peering down at me inquisitively between night-blackened tree branches. Impulsively, I turned left & drove back to Kanawha Terrace. I would take a picture of tonight's very full, golden moon.
On Kanawha Terrace, I looked up & didn't see her, so I drove down to 6th Avenue. And there she was, looking down at me from above the BB&T bank building. I drove down 6th Avenue, but she dimmed a bit under the humming white glow of the street lights. I drove across the tacks to Route 60. I would go to the park & capture her there. There would be nothing to block my lens & she would be unable to hide. And so I drove down to Roadside Park.
Once there I got out of my car, walked past the teenagers looking guilty in their car, walked past the blue jungle gym/slide with the yellow top, & stopped next to the swings. It seemed that the closer I walked, the farther away she became. Now she was looming up above the Bayer Crop Science center across the river in Institute.
I stood there staring at her for a few minutes, admiring her beauty, enjoying the feel of the night. The air smelled a little more crisp than usual, the heady scent of summer green beginning to fade. It felt like September. It felt like home.
I stood there a moment longer & then turned away, back to my car. It had been a while since I had tried to follow the moon and I had forgotten. The closer you walk, the harder you try, the more you reach, the farther away she becomes. The moon is something to be enjoyed from a distance & for a moment. Not something to be captured. The moment you try to hold it, it slips away.
You could spend your whole life chasing the moon.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
I bought a little, piece of shit digital camera this afternoon. You know what that means. I'm probably going to have a site devoted only to my photos in the near future. :)
Not to mention, I'll finally be able to reach my dream of online porn super-stardom. :) Now my boobies will be known worldwide!
Not to mention, I'll finally be able to reach my dream of online porn super-stardom. :) Now my boobies will be known worldwide!
Green, green, & growing things
I've had this obsession...um, no...wrong word. Preoccupation? Yeah, that's it. I've had this preoccupation with drawing trees over the past week or so.
I've never been much of an artist, really. My dad bought me endless sketch pads & pencils when I was a kid, but I never used any of them. It just wasn't my thing. But over the last week, I've been letting the little kids in my group at work express their feelings & thoughts through art. While they've been working & talking to me, I've found myself drawing trees. Over & over & over. Trees with green leaves, scarlet leaves, orange, & even purple leaves. Beautiful vibrant trees.
It's been so therapeutic & calming. And the trees are getting prettier & prettier. Who knows? Perhaps I'll draw a tree so big, beautiful, & brilliant that everyone will love me forever & ever & ever.
I've had this obsession...um, no...wrong word. Preoccupation? Yeah, that's it. I've had this preoccupation with drawing trees over the past week or so.
I've never been much of an artist, really. My dad bought me endless sketch pads & pencils when I was a kid, but I never used any of them. It just wasn't my thing. But over the last week, I've been letting the little kids in my group at work express their feelings & thoughts through art. While they've been working & talking to me, I've found myself drawing trees. Over & over & over. Trees with green leaves, scarlet leaves, orange, & even purple leaves. Beautiful vibrant trees.
It's been so therapeutic & calming. And the trees are getting prettier & prettier. Who knows? Perhaps I'll draw a tree so big, beautiful, & brilliant that everyone will love me forever & ever & ever.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
A Date
This past Thursday Rob called me & asked me out. Apparently he & his girlfriend broke up last Friday & he's now free to date. Well, this sounded terribly convenient to me & I told him so. But I thought, "What the fuck? Why not? If he says they're broken up, as far as I'm concerned they're broken up." So I accepted.
He picked me up last night (Friday) & we...or rather...I decided that we would see Hero. The movie was fucking amazing! Breathtaking cinematography! Kick ass fight scenes! It was so beautiful & mystical, & so moving. And yes, I cried a little. :)
Afterwards, Rob & I both wanted to see it again, however there were no later showings. After a bit of deliberation, we found ourselves at the Sound Factory where they were having a benefit concert for Adam Weaver, a local guy with Hodgkin's disease. Noizbox, who describe themselves as "An enormous glob of power-driven rock-n-funk-n-roll madness!" was playing. I concur with their description. They definately rocked out! :) With lots of funky changes in their music, ass-kicking bass, weird noizes, high-pitched squeaky almost robotic singing changing to loud, harsh angry yells, Noizbox certainly has a very different & intellectually stimulating sound.
I had seen Noizbox a few times before, but watching them with Rob was a bit more enjoyable as he used to play drums for them. Every song that they played, Rob gave me a bit of history on how or when the lead singer wrote it & why it was brilliant. :) After the show, we chatted with the bassist, Roadblock or Jason, & the drummer, Vince. I harrassed the lead singer to bring me a copy of their single next show and then Rob & I headed back to my apartment.
All in all I had a really great time. We saw an excellent movie, heard some awesome music, had good conversation, & ended the night with very nice kissing & such. Very nice.
Now the problem is this: I think I kinda like him a little. And he's got that whole breaking-up-with-the-girlfriend drama going on. I really don't want drama or any kind of icky, gooey mess.
*sigh* Ah, well. It's already in motion. I'd really like to see him again. We'll see.
To live in the moment
And never beyond
And never beyond
This past Thursday Rob called me & asked me out. Apparently he & his girlfriend broke up last Friday & he's now free to date. Well, this sounded terribly convenient to me & I told him so. But I thought, "What the fuck? Why not? If he says they're broken up, as far as I'm concerned they're broken up." So I accepted.
He picked me up last night (Friday) & we...or rather...I decided that we would see Hero. The movie was fucking amazing! Breathtaking cinematography! Kick ass fight scenes! It was so beautiful & mystical, & so moving. And yes, I cried a little. :)
Afterwards, Rob & I both wanted to see it again, however there were no later showings. After a bit of deliberation, we found ourselves at the Sound Factory where they were having a benefit concert for Adam Weaver, a local guy with Hodgkin's disease. Noizbox, who describe themselves as "An enormous glob of power-driven rock-n-funk-n-roll madness!" was playing. I concur with their description. They definately rocked out! :) With lots of funky changes in their music, ass-kicking bass, weird noizes, high-pitched squeaky almost robotic singing changing to loud, harsh angry yells, Noizbox certainly has a very different & intellectually stimulating sound.
I had seen Noizbox a few times before, but watching them with Rob was a bit more enjoyable as he used to play drums for them. Every song that they played, Rob gave me a bit of history on how or when the lead singer wrote it & why it was brilliant. :) After the show, we chatted with the bassist, Roadblock or Jason, & the drummer, Vince. I harrassed the lead singer to bring me a copy of their single next show and then Rob & I headed back to my apartment.
All in all I had a really great time. We saw an excellent movie, heard some awesome music, had good conversation, & ended the night with very nice kissing & such. Very nice.
Now the problem is this: I think I kinda like him a little. And he's got that whole breaking-up-with-the-girlfriend drama going on. I really don't want drama or any kind of icky, gooey mess.
*sigh* Ah, well. It's already in motion. I'd really like to see him again. We'll see.
To live in the moment
And never beyond
And never beyond
Friday, August 27, 2004
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Wow. People really read my journal.
Well, Sheila, it seems we've got a case of "he said, she said" going on that's put us both in an uncomfortable position. Especially me. I feel terrible right now. Thank you for contacting me to give me your input.
I apologize for bitching about you & calling you a couple of less than pleasant & seemingly unwarranted names. My journal is how I deal with my stress...counseling for the counselor...so every emotion comes out raw, icky, & pure. Again, I'm sorry. Perhaps it's not too late for opinions to be reevaluated. I hope that we can start with a fresh slate & smile when we next meet, instead of hurling rotten eggs & tomatoes at one another. ;)
As far as Steve goes, I don't know what his motivation was for telling me those things. Perhaps he was trying to accommodate us in the best way he knew how…attempting to keep us from stepping on each other’s toes? I don’t know. He is rarely malicious, but I don’t know. He also told me that I was judgmental & I try too hard. (his opinions of me) On his better days he is less than tactless.
Again, I’m terribly sorry. Thanks so much for setting the record straight, and I hope it’s not too late for us to be pleasant to one another, if not friendly. For what it’s worth, you have a lovely family that I admire very much. Take care.
Well, Sheila, it seems we've got a case of "he said, she said" going on that's put us both in an uncomfortable position. Especially me. I feel terrible right now. Thank you for contacting me to give me your input.
I apologize for bitching about you & calling you a couple of less than pleasant & seemingly unwarranted names. My journal is how I deal with my stress...counseling for the counselor...so every emotion comes out raw, icky, & pure. Again, I'm sorry. Perhaps it's not too late for opinions to be reevaluated. I hope that we can start with a fresh slate & smile when we next meet, instead of hurling rotten eggs & tomatoes at one another. ;)
As far as Steve goes, I don't know what his motivation was for telling me those things. Perhaps he was trying to accommodate us in the best way he knew how…attempting to keep us from stepping on each other’s toes? I don’t know. He is rarely malicious, but I don’t know. He also told me that I was judgmental & I try too hard. (his opinions of me) On his better days he is less than tactless.
Again, I’m terribly sorry. Thanks so much for setting the record straight, and I hope it’s not too late for us to be pleasant to one another, if not friendly. For what it’s worth, you have a lovely family that I admire very much. Take care.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Nothing more, Nothing less
Man! I wanted to bitch so bad yesterday, but I couldn't 'cause this fucking thing was down! Fuck monkey ass shit bitchcock bitch!!!! Catharsis.
Anyway, I was in a cruddy mood yesterday. I worked from 8:30 to 6pm, and was exhausted from the night before because I had spent two hours talking down a suicidal former patient from the methadone clinic. (The patient looked me up in the phone book & called me. Yeah. I tried to refer him to the Prestera Crisis line, 911, the methadone clinic, & Highland but he wasn't having it.) So being really tired, I was cranky & had a headache. After my groups, I thought my day was going to get better, but I was wrong. :) A kid freaked out & had a two hour screaming/crying, flailing around on the floor episode in my office. I had to restrain him twice.
After that things went pretty smoothly, however, and I thought that the day might just turn around. I certainly thought so when I received an invitation from Steve to see Exorcist: The Beginning free of charge (courtesy of Rock 105). I accepted. He told me that his neighbor, Jessie, and his neighbor's wife would be attending the movie as well. I've met Jessie & Sheila a handful of times and they seem like very nice people, so I suggested that we sit with them at the movie & hang out a bit afterward. Steve said, "I don't think that's a good idea." I replied, "Why?" To which he replied, "Because Sheila doesn't like you."
This totally blew my mind. I expressed my incredulity to Steve & he said, "Not everybody has to like you, Christina." And I know that. I don't expect them to, but I don't know the girl. She doesn't know me well enough to not like me. I've seen her in passing & had small talk conversation with her. It just doesn't make sense.
I expressed this to Steve & he informed me that she told him she didn't like me after my brief conversation with her & her husband at Day on the Green. She told him that she thought that I was fake. What the fuck?!?! I think I talked about the weather & the bands that day. Small talk.
Well, I shrugged it off. Thinking, fuck it, it's no big deal. So went to the movie & Steve decides to sit next to Jessie & Sheila. Great. So I was a little uncomfortable. We watched the movie (which was predictable & boring, with overly dramatic, uninteresting dialogue) and afterwards stopped outside the door to process what we had just seen. So we engaged in more small talk. Great.
After Jessie & Sheila drove away, Steve told me that she had leaned over and whispered to him, "Why the fuck did you have to bring her?".
I had no opinion of this Sheila chick up until this point. I had filed her away on an index card in a filing cabinet in my brain as : Sheila - blonde, cute, wife of Jessie - neighbor & coworker to Steve Perry, ex-boyfriend. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't know her well enough to form an opinion or judgment of her character & personality. Honestly, I still don't.
But, hot-fucking-damn! If someone can take a total of 30 minutes friendly, interaction & evaluate my fucking personality & character, she needs to do my fucking job!!! Bitch!
So I guess the index card in my brain card file of people now goes something like this: Sheila - stupid cunt, blonde, cute, wife of Jessie - neighbor & coworker to Steve Perry, ex-boyfriend. Nothing more, nothing less.
Man! I wanted to bitch so bad yesterday, but I couldn't 'cause this fucking thing was down! Fuck monkey ass shit bitchcock bitch!!!! Catharsis.
Anyway, I was in a cruddy mood yesterday. I worked from 8:30 to 6pm, and was exhausted from the night before because I had spent two hours talking down a suicidal former patient from the methadone clinic. (The patient looked me up in the phone book & called me. Yeah. I tried to refer him to the Prestera Crisis line, 911, the methadone clinic, & Highland but he wasn't having it.) So being really tired, I was cranky & had a headache. After my groups, I thought my day was going to get better, but I was wrong. :) A kid freaked out & had a two hour screaming/crying, flailing around on the floor episode in my office. I had to restrain him twice.
After that things went pretty smoothly, however, and I thought that the day might just turn around. I certainly thought so when I received an invitation from Steve to see Exorcist: The Beginning free of charge (courtesy of Rock 105). I accepted. He told me that his neighbor, Jessie, and his neighbor's wife would be attending the movie as well. I've met Jessie & Sheila a handful of times and they seem like very nice people, so I suggested that we sit with them at the movie & hang out a bit afterward. Steve said, "I don't think that's a good idea." I replied, "Why?" To which he replied, "Because Sheila doesn't like you."
This totally blew my mind. I expressed my incredulity to Steve & he said, "Not everybody has to like you, Christina." And I know that. I don't expect them to, but I don't know the girl. She doesn't know me well enough to not like me. I've seen her in passing & had small talk conversation with her. It just doesn't make sense.
I expressed this to Steve & he informed me that she told him she didn't like me after my brief conversation with her & her husband at Day on the Green. She told him that she thought that I was fake. What the fuck?!?! I think I talked about the weather & the bands that day. Small talk.
Well, I shrugged it off. Thinking, fuck it, it's no big deal. So went to the movie & Steve decides to sit next to Jessie & Sheila. Great. So I was a little uncomfortable. We watched the movie (which was predictable & boring, with overly dramatic, uninteresting dialogue) and afterwards stopped outside the door to process what we had just seen. So we engaged in more small talk. Great.
After Jessie & Sheila drove away, Steve told me that she had leaned over and whispered to him, "Why the fuck did you have to bring her?".
I had no opinion of this Sheila chick up until this point. I had filed her away on an index card in a filing cabinet in my brain as : Sheila - blonde, cute, wife of Jessie - neighbor & coworker to Steve Perry, ex-boyfriend. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't know her well enough to form an opinion or judgment of her character & personality. Honestly, I still don't.
But, hot-fucking-damn! If someone can take a total of 30 minutes friendly, interaction & evaluate my fucking personality & character, she needs to do my fucking job!!! Bitch!
So I guess the index card in my brain card file of people now goes something like this: Sheila - stupid cunt, blonde, cute, wife of Jessie - neighbor & coworker to Steve Perry, ex-boyfriend. Nothing more, nothing less.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Jaggermeister-covered nipple, anyone?
Last Saturday night, Rose & I drove down to they Monkey to see Split Nixon & BobaFlex. Darling that she is, she let me drive her Benz! As indicated by the exclamation point, I enjoyed driving that vehicle...perhaps too much. Every time I drive it, I want one and I become discontent w/ my own little rusty, mottled mode of transport. See! Here's a perfect example! Desire = Suffering!!!! (I'll bet Chris is rolling his eyes at me right now.)
Anyway, we watched SN, which Rose enjoyed, and then BobaFlex, which frightened her. Poor Rosie. During one song, BobaFlex always has all the ladies come up on stage to hump at them..um..I mean dance, while they perform. Well, they called the women to the stage and several, including Rose & I just stayed in the audience. Marty McCoy (vocals & guitar) pointed back at a couple girls, unsuccessfully ordering them on stage. And then his attention shifted to Rose. He pointed at her and asked her to come up. I saw her eyes widen slightly with realization that he was talking to her. She visibly stiffened, her smile frozen in place as it always does when she's nervous, and shook her head quickly from side to side. I'm almost certain I could hear her heart pounding from where I was standing next to her.
After the show, little Marty (he's about 5'4") approached her and asked he why she didn't come up on stage. My sweet sister told him honestly that he and the rest of BobaFlex frightened her. To quote her: "I don't know if I'm getting old or what, but you guys scare me!" He then tried to convince her that she wasn't too old for him, etc. Quite amusing.
I introduced Rose to Jason, Scott, Jamie, & Brian (Split Nixon), who she didn't find terrifying. She got caught up on all the CASCI gossip through conversing with Shauna while I had drunken conversation with whoever the hell would talk to me. I obtained a new, glossy 8 x 10 of Split Nixon & had them sign it, making sure that they personalized it. (Hmmm...it's amazing how about 30 minutes of hilarity and bullshitting can be cut down to one sentence.)
I then joined Matt Wolfe & a Jaggermeister bottle in a couple of goofy pictures. After we had our wicked way with the bottle, we passed it on to a young, brunette, hot thing. First, she put it between her boobs and squeezed them together. In my drunken state, I decided that it was a good idea to shout out, "Show your nipple!" In her drunken state, she thought it was a good idea to follow my advice. She poured a bit of Jaggermeister on the tip of her tata and posed for a picture. Her daddy will be very proud, I'm sure. :)
Set It On Fire, Mama!!!!
This Thursday I caught the Pistol Whippers at the Monkey with Nikki. They "set it on fire" performing Haunted Whorehouse, Chevy Mandango, Roller Derby, Who's your Daddy & other of their ass kicking, hillbilly punk rock tunes. :) We had a great time & afterwards shot the shit with the lead singer (Brian aka. Guy Parker) & the drummer (Rob aka. Lance Steel). I tried to finagle a copy of their first CD, The Fat, the Bald, & the Ugly to no avail. They didn't have any, but promised to get me a copy if I came to their show at the Empty Glass the following night.
The Battle of the Bands & A Boy
Well...I made it out to the Glass on Friday, but I was a wee bit late for the show. As in Rob was packing away his drums when I got there. So I chatted for a bit and then made my way down to the Sound Factory to watch the Rock 105 Battle of the Bands. The competitors were Professor Mike, Shorthrow, Thurst, Split Nixon, & two other bands I can't recall at the moment. All of the bands played their hearts out, however Split Nixon prevailed in the end. As many times as I've seen them, their performance really impressed me! They had so much energy! I suppose it was the competative nature of the thing that fueled them. At any rate, they won the opportunity get open for Shinedown, Collective Soul, & Eight Days Gone on September 3rd at the Regatta this year. Congratulations boys!
(Speaking of the Regatta on September 3rd, the Murder Mystery party that Crystal & Shawn are hosting is on the 4th, so all those staying with me that weekend should come with me to check out Split Nixon, Shinedown, Collective Soul, & Eight Days Gone on the 3rd! I promise it'll be more amusing than sitting in the floor of my apartment playing drinking games & drunken twister. )
After rejoicing for a few moments with Jason, Brian, Scottie, Jamie & their ladies, I wandered back down to the Empty Glass to have a beer & chat with the Whippers. Rob had an extra CD in his car, so I obtained my coveted copy of The Fat, the Bald, & the Ugly. He & I talked for a whle. He's a really nice guy, funny, & intelligent (in spite of his self-proclaimed love affair with the reefer). Yeah...there was definately some attraction there, but he's got a girlfriend. Damn it! Why are all of the cuties that I'm interested in taken? Ah well. See! There it was again! Another example of desire = suffering. But then I rationalized that I'm cool as is, and I felt content again. See it does work! :)
Sunday, bloody, friggin', Sunday
So today I face the 2004 Garris Family Reunion in Camp Creek, WV. It's not the ideal way to spend my Sunday, however I suppose it'll be nice to see my uncles, aunts, & cousins. It's nicer to see them under these circumstances than under the circumstances of this June when my Uncle Elmer died. :( It will certainly be good to spend the day with my Mom, Dad, Wayne, Cheryl, & my precious little Megan Elayne.
I wonder if Meg will let me be "somebody" today? :)
Last Saturday night, Rose & I drove down to they Monkey to see Split Nixon & BobaFlex. Darling that she is, she let me drive her Benz! As indicated by the exclamation point, I enjoyed driving that vehicle...perhaps too much. Every time I drive it, I want one and I become discontent w/ my own little rusty, mottled mode of transport. See! Here's a perfect example! Desire = Suffering!!!! (I'll bet Chris is rolling his eyes at me right now.)
Anyway, we watched SN, which Rose enjoyed, and then BobaFlex, which frightened her. Poor Rosie. During one song, BobaFlex always has all the ladies come up on stage to hump at them..um..I mean dance, while they perform. Well, they called the women to the stage and several, including Rose & I just stayed in the audience. Marty McCoy (vocals & guitar) pointed back at a couple girls, unsuccessfully ordering them on stage. And then his attention shifted to Rose. He pointed at her and asked her to come up. I saw her eyes widen slightly with realization that he was talking to her. She visibly stiffened, her smile frozen in place as it always does when she's nervous, and shook her head quickly from side to side. I'm almost certain I could hear her heart pounding from where I was standing next to her.
After the show, little Marty (he's about 5'4") approached her and asked he why she didn't come up on stage. My sweet sister told him honestly that he and the rest of BobaFlex frightened her. To quote her: "I don't know if I'm getting old or what, but you guys scare me!" He then tried to convince her that she wasn't too old for him, etc. Quite amusing.
I introduced Rose to Jason, Scott, Jamie, & Brian (Split Nixon), who she didn't find terrifying. She got caught up on all the CASCI gossip through conversing with Shauna while I had drunken conversation with whoever the hell would talk to me. I obtained a new, glossy 8 x 10 of Split Nixon & had them sign it, making sure that they personalized it. (Hmmm...it's amazing how about 30 minutes of hilarity and bullshitting can be cut down to one sentence.)
I then joined Matt Wolfe & a Jaggermeister bottle in a couple of goofy pictures. After we had our wicked way with the bottle, we passed it on to a young, brunette, hot thing. First, she put it between her boobs and squeezed them together. In my drunken state, I decided that it was a good idea to shout out, "Show your nipple!" In her drunken state, she thought it was a good idea to follow my advice. She poured a bit of Jaggermeister on the tip of her tata and posed for a picture. Her daddy will be very proud, I'm sure. :)
Set It On Fire, Mama!!!!
This Thursday I caught the Pistol Whippers at the Monkey with Nikki. They "set it on fire" performing Haunted Whorehouse, Chevy Mandango, Roller Derby, Who's your Daddy & other of their ass kicking, hillbilly punk rock tunes. :) We had a great time & afterwards shot the shit with the lead singer (Brian aka. Guy Parker) & the drummer (Rob aka. Lance Steel). I tried to finagle a copy of their first CD, The Fat, the Bald, & the Ugly to no avail. They didn't have any, but promised to get me a copy if I came to their show at the Empty Glass the following night.
The Battle of the Bands & A Boy
Well...I made it out to the Glass on Friday, but I was a wee bit late for the show. As in Rob was packing away his drums when I got there. So I chatted for a bit and then made my way down to the Sound Factory to watch the Rock 105 Battle of the Bands. The competitors were Professor Mike, Shorthrow, Thurst, Split Nixon, & two other bands I can't recall at the moment. All of the bands played their hearts out, however Split Nixon prevailed in the end. As many times as I've seen them, their performance really impressed me! They had so much energy! I suppose it was the competative nature of the thing that fueled them. At any rate, they won the opportunity get open for Shinedown, Collective Soul, & Eight Days Gone on September 3rd at the Regatta this year. Congratulations boys!
(Speaking of the Regatta on September 3rd, the Murder Mystery party that Crystal & Shawn are hosting is on the 4th, so all those staying with me that weekend should come with me to check out Split Nixon, Shinedown, Collective Soul, & Eight Days Gone on the 3rd! I promise it'll be more amusing than sitting in the floor of my apartment playing drinking games & drunken twister. )
After rejoicing for a few moments with Jason, Brian, Scottie, Jamie & their ladies, I wandered back down to the Empty Glass to have a beer & chat with the Whippers. Rob had an extra CD in his car, so I obtained my coveted copy of The Fat, the Bald, & the Ugly. He & I talked for a whle. He's a really nice guy, funny, & intelligent (in spite of his self-proclaimed love affair with the reefer). Yeah...there was definately some attraction there, but he's got a girlfriend. Damn it! Why are all of the cuties that I'm interested in taken? Ah well. See! There it was again! Another example of desire = suffering. But then I rationalized that I'm cool as is, and I felt content again. See it does work! :)
Sunday, bloody, friggin', Sunday
So today I face the 2004 Garris Family Reunion in Camp Creek, WV. It's not the ideal way to spend my Sunday, however I suppose it'll be nice to see my uncles, aunts, & cousins. It's nicer to see them under these circumstances than under the circumstances of this June when my Uncle Elmer died. :( It will certainly be good to spend the day with my Mom, Dad, Wayne, Cheryl, & my precious little Megan Elayne.
I wonder if Meg will let me be "somebody" today? :)
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Random Neural Firings on Communication, Impermanence, Death, & Happiness
More than a year ago I was ruminating on the imperfection of communication. I had had the realization that I will never be able to achieve perfect communication/communion with another due to semantics & the different life experience of, & therefore, different perspectives of each individual person.
This frustrated & distressed me to no end. Mainly because the only thing that I've ever really yearned for is perfect communication with another person. A lasting connection. An endless & perfect discourse. This is the thing that I viewed as my vision of happiness. This sought after perfect communication meant a kindred spirit husband that I could make love to every night and fall asleep cradling in my arms. This perfect connection meant, eventually, 2.5 kids & the white picket fence. It meant a constant perfect stimulating, entertaining, & fulfilling intellectual, physical, & emotional exchange.
And my realization of the impossibility of perfect communication meant, for me, the realization that I would never achieve my vision of happiness.
During that time, a friend observed that I was seeking this communion in order to make myself complete through connectedness with another person. He brought to my attention the fact that my intense desire for this connection was causing me suffering. It was making me discontent with my situation. I was not focusing on & accepting what was...I was focusing on what should be. On what I desired. He pointed out that if we accepted the fact that we are all ultimately alone inside ourselves, then we would be able to find contentment and completeness in and of ourselves. And anyone we held communion with after realizing that contentment in ourselves would just accentuate our happiness.
In recent months I've been struck by the understanding of the impermanence of our lives & everything. I was born & I will die. We are all dying a little each day. Spring, summer, autumn, winter. Morning, noon, evening, night. Baby, child, teen, adult, elder. Seed, sprout, grow, wither. Cycles & circles. Everything has a beginning. And every beginning has an end.
I realized that if I do ever achieve that perfect communion that I had been seeking, that my communication with falter, my kids will grow up, my husband will grow old & die or perhaps leave me for another "blond with big tits & an ass that tastes like french-vanilla ice cream", and the sparkling white paint on my picket fence will weather, crack, & fade. And I understood that the impermanent nature of everything meant that we can never own anything for any longer than a moment. We can never hold anything for any longer than a moment. We hold things, touch people, communicate with one another for only a moment...and then the moment is done. And you have your memories, but those will fade as well. We are born naked & alone. We live alone. Among others, yes, but alone in our individual perceptions. And we will all die alone, taking nothing & no one with us when we go.
In trying to take each moment for what it is, a moment that will slip through my fingers like sand, I am learning to yearn less for those things that I do not hold. And little by little, I am becoming more content with what is. And I do not regret all that is not. I just accept that it is not.
This is not to say that I don't have desires. I do. Believe me I do. I still would like to be a mother one day. I still want to marry a man who will stimulate & challenge me by day & burn my flesh with passion by night. I still wouldn't mind a picket fence with a nice, reliable vehicle parked in the driveway. I still want to learn how to play guitar and be a rock superstar. :) But if I don't attain, achieve, or experience these things, it's okay.
I am or have been a girl, a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, a friend, a girlfriend, a lover, a fiance, the "other woman", a student, a writer, a poet, a singer, a lyricist, a joker, a musician, a dancer, a thinker, a feeler, a dreamer, an outcast, a counselor, a patient, a clinician, a skinny girl, a voluptuous woman, a computer geek, a band-aid, a fan, a seductress, a liar, a cheater, a drug user, an enemy, religious, profane, reliable, unreliable, pragmatic, idealistic, ambivalent, stubborn, coy, shy, bold, direct, quiet, loud, happy, enraged, jealous, melancholy, remorseful, surprised, delighted, disappointed, hungry, sated, empty, filled, envied, loved, desired, hated.
I have lived. I have had so many moments, which I only hold now in my memory. And one day, I will lose them altogether. But why should I fill myself with discontent over what was that is or will be lost, what is not, & what may never be? I may never add the titles of "mother", "bride", "wife", or "rock star" to my list. And that's okay. I have had so much. And I accept each moment for what it is & live in that moment.
It's so strange. For the first time in my life, I am unfraid of death. I am becoming content with who I am, accepting what has been & what is, & not worrying so much about what will or wil not be. I can accept death if she comes for me, because I am learning to accept each moment as it comes. And if it ends, well...then it ends. :)
More than a year ago I was ruminating on the imperfection of communication. I had had the realization that I will never be able to achieve perfect communication/communion with another due to semantics & the different life experience of, & therefore, different perspectives of each individual person.
This frustrated & distressed me to no end. Mainly because the only thing that I've ever really yearned for is perfect communication with another person. A lasting connection. An endless & perfect discourse. This is the thing that I viewed as my vision of happiness. This sought after perfect communication meant a kindred spirit husband that I could make love to every night and fall asleep cradling in my arms. This perfect connection meant, eventually, 2.5 kids & the white picket fence. It meant a constant perfect stimulating, entertaining, & fulfilling intellectual, physical, & emotional exchange.
And my realization of the impossibility of perfect communication meant, for me, the realization that I would never achieve my vision of happiness.
During that time, a friend observed that I was seeking this communion in order to make myself complete through connectedness with another person. He brought to my attention the fact that my intense desire for this connection was causing me suffering. It was making me discontent with my situation. I was not focusing on & accepting what was...I was focusing on what should be. On what I desired. He pointed out that if we accepted the fact that we are all ultimately alone inside ourselves, then we would be able to find contentment and completeness in and of ourselves. And anyone we held communion with after realizing that contentment in ourselves would just accentuate our happiness.
In recent months I've been struck by the understanding of the impermanence of our lives & everything. I was born & I will die. We are all dying a little each day. Spring, summer, autumn, winter. Morning, noon, evening, night. Baby, child, teen, adult, elder. Seed, sprout, grow, wither. Cycles & circles. Everything has a beginning. And every beginning has an end.
I realized that if I do ever achieve that perfect communion that I had been seeking, that my communication with falter, my kids will grow up, my husband will grow old & die or perhaps leave me for another "blond with big tits & an ass that tastes like french-vanilla ice cream", and the sparkling white paint on my picket fence will weather, crack, & fade. And I understood that the impermanent nature of everything meant that we can never own anything for any longer than a moment. We can never hold anything for any longer than a moment. We hold things, touch people, communicate with one another for only a moment...and then the moment is done. And you have your memories, but those will fade as well. We are born naked & alone. We live alone. Among others, yes, but alone in our individual perceptions. And we will all die alone, taking nothing & no one with us when we go.
In trying to take each moment for what it is, a moment that will slip through my fingers like sand, I am learning to yearn less for those things that I do not hold. And little by little, I am becoming more content with what is. And I do not regret all that is not. I just accept that it is not.
This is not to say that I don't have desires. I do. Believe me I do. I still would like to be a mother one day. I still want to marry a man who will stimulate & challenge me by day & burn my flesh with passion by night. I still wouldn't mind a picket fence with a nice, reliable vehicle parked in the driveway. I still want to learn how to play guitar and be a rock superstar. :) But if I don't attain, achieve, or experience these things, it's okay.
I am or have been a girl, a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, a friend, a girlfriend, a lover, a fiance, the "other woman", a student, a writer, a poet, a singer, a lyricist, a joker, a musician, a dancer, a thinker, a feeler, a dreamer, an outcast, a counselor, a patient, a clinician, a skinny girl, a voluptuous woman, a computer geek, a band-aid, a fan, a seductress, a liar, a cheater, a drug user, an enemy, religious, profane, reliable, unreliable, pragmatic, idealistic, ambivalent, stubborn, coy, shy, bold, direct, quiet, loud, happy, enraged, jealous, melancholy, remorseful, surprised, delighted, disappointed, hungry, sated, empty, filled, envied, loved, desired, hated.
I have lived. I have had so many moments, which I only hold now in my memory. And one day, I will lose them altogether. But why should I fill myself with discontent over what was that is or will be lost, what is not, & what may never be? I may never add the titles of "mother", "bride", "wife", or "rock star" to my list. And that's okay. I have had so much. And I accept each moment for what it is & live in that moment.
It's so strange. For the first time in my life, I am unfraid of death. I am becoming content with who I am, accepting what has been & what is, & not worrying so much about what will or wil not be. I can accept death if she comes for me, because I am learning to accept each moment as it comes. And if it ends, well...then it ends. :)
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