Tofu hot dogs look like normal hot dogs and taste like normal hot dogs, but they have a texture all their own. Weird, man. And then there's the bean-like after taste. Again, weird.

I'm hoping to get someone from another team to switch with me so that I can work next Saturday and end up having this Monday off. That way I'll be able to spend more time with my friends in Colombus this weekend. Yay!

I finally got my evaluation back at work. I'm officially a full time employee now and I get insurance! The forms are upstairs awaiting my completion. Note to self: Complete insurance forms tomorrow evening or your head will explode.

Fruit is some of the most wonderful stuff on Earth. Especially grapes. White seedless grapes are the bomb! And Special K Red Berries is the food of the gods!

Anyway, I'm really enjoying this new Weight Watchers point counting diet that Ben and I have adopted. I get to eat the stuff that I love like sandwiches, veggies, cereal, and fruit. :) Yum!

My back hurts. Ben and I played raquetball this evening and I think I must've twisted funny or something. I learned that I play raquetball better when in a bad mood. I tend to hit the ball harder that way.

Ben got me a massage book for Christmas and I've learned how to do the back leg massage, a few back massage techniques, and a few arm and hand massage techniques. If only I could massage my own back right now. :(

I'm going to bed. Goodnight and I love you all!

One of my former patients called me yesterday just to say hi. He had transfered to a clinic in another city that is closer to his home. He told me that he was doing well now...he makes more money than I do at his new job and has better benefits! :) And he hasn't used any drugs since he entered treatment. When he first came to the clinic he reported suicidal ideations, however now he says that he's so excited about his life that he would never dream of throwing it away. :)

I was so happy to talk to him and to hear that the program is actually working for him. He told me that he likes his new clinic okay, but he misses me. He told me that his new counselor just doesn't seem to be willing to take the time to talk to him like I would and that he wished that I was still his counselor. Hearing him say that was very rewarding. He made my day! :)

So I guess I'm doing something right some of the time at least. :)

New Year's Resolution(s) Progress Report

Ben and I did the Adkins diet for a bit, but we decided that we couldn't take one more day of eating greasy meats!!!! (Ben actually was the one to crumble this time around.) I lost 7lbs on it. (Not a bad start, I suppose.) But it's not worth the amount of disgust that eating an all meat diet provokes.

So, now Ben and I are doing the Weight Watchers thing. (Basically, keeping our calorie intake pretty low.) And we've started exercising again. We're playing (or attempting to play) raquetball 3 times per week. After I do the raquetball thing for about 30 minutes, I've been doing cardiovascular stuff for an additional 30 minutes and then doing 3 sets of light weight on my biceps and my quads to tone. So far, I'm still at the same weight as when I stopped Mr. Adkin's diet. I plan on upping my exercise regiment to 5 days a week. I'll be sure to brag on any progress that I make in lessening the Earth's gravitational pull upon my being.

One resolution underway, three more to go.

Today I decided to call around and price guitar playing lessons. The cheapest I found was $15 per lesson for 4 lessons a month. The most expensive was $17.50 per lesson, however the $17.50 guy seemed really cool. He talked to me for a few minutes and I found myself already liking him. He put me at ease and it's very important that a teacher be able to do that. Especially when you're a stubborn ass bitch who embarrasses fairly easy and you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position by trying to learn something new and important to you. I know I will fail on occasion and I need to be comfortable failing in front of whom ever is teaching me. (Pride is a funny thing.) He said that he wouldn't be able to take a new student for a couple of weeks. I'll have to think it over a bit.

Anyway, I suppose Resolution 2 could be underway in the near future. As for Resolution 3 & 4...well...those are going to take some time...that's all I know right now.

Tune in for more exciting updates in the life of Chris G.

"You don't see what I see every day as Chris G."

Happy Valentine's Day!

I went to a wedding today. A guy from work and a gal that I used to work with tied the knot today. It was a lovely, small ceremony and afterwards we went to dinner at the Marriott. The wedding was so emotional: Andre started crying as he saw her walking down the aisle...Stefanie started crying as she was saying her vows...everyone cried when the bride's 10 year old daughter, Alexa, gave her away (except for me, callous and bitter wench that I am). Also at the reception the groom read a poem and declaration of love that he had composed for the bride and they both were crying through that. :)

I'm happy for them because they seem so in love and so happy together. Love and happiness are very fragile things. I hope that they learn how to make it last throughout their lifetimes.

Here's to the newly wed Andre and Stefanie Nazario!

A dream

In my dream, my friends Stephanie and Nikki came to visit me at my parent's home in Eccles. Nikki had picked Stephanie up in her father's big, red Ford 250. It's a nice truck really...it even has one of those truck toppers on it so that you can put groceries and things back there without fear of them being stolen. Anyway, they arrived and we all had dinner and sat around and talked. My entire immediate family was there also. After dinner Stephanie asked to borrow Nikki's truck so that she could go and check on her husband and her kids and then come right back. This is impractical because Steph and her husband live 30 minutes away from my parent's home. She really should have just called them to check on them. However, we didn't think it odd in the dream and she took the keys and was gone for a while and then returned.

Steph came back in and pulled Nikki aside and said, "I need to talk to you. Come outside with me." They went outside and a few minutes later Nikki came back in, her skin pale, eyes wide, mouth gaping, and her breathing terse. I immediately grew concerned and asked her what was wrong. Steph came in the house at that moment and said that we should go back to my bedroom to talk. So we all filed down the hall to my old bedroom.

Once back there Nikki burst out, "She has a dead man in the back of the truck! She cut off his hand! Oh my god, Christina! Oh god! Oh god!" And then she started sobbing and sat down on the bed with her hands covering her face. I look at Nikki in disbelief and then look up at Steph who calmly reached into her purse and pulled out something wrapped in a small white towel. There was fresh blood on one end of the towel. She unwrapped the bundle and there was a man's left hand. Through my shock and horror I noticed that the hand wore a wedding band...a wedding band that matched Stephanie's. She had killed her husband, Derek.

My legs gave out and I sank down to the floor. I was nauseous and dizzy and I felt that I couldn't breathe. Nikki still sat sobbing and Stephanie stood looking down at us, that dead hand held in hers, and she was disturbingly calm. I asked her why and she said that she just couldn't take it anymore. She then announced that we had to bury him. Nikki and I didn't question this, but immediately started trying to think of places where we could dispose of the remains. Nikki kept saying, "I've got to go home tonight. Oh god, that's my dad's truck! He's gonna kill me! We've got to get rid of it!" She was still crying. I suggested one area on Bolt Mountain and we decided to go and check it out and look for the perfect spot to hide the remains of the dead husband. (Who was, by the way, a former boyfriend of mine. But that's another story.)

We decided to drive my car down to Bolt Mountain. We didn't want to get pulled over with a dead body in the back, after all. So we went and found a good location away from the road and very secluded and then we began our drive back to Eccles. On the way back the shock started to wear off and I realized that I didn't have to help her do this. I realized that I should, in fact, call the police. Then the internal struggle began. Should I help one of my dear friends whom I've known since I was eight years old? Or should I do the right thing and call the police? Was I willing to become a criminal and endanger my freedom for this girl? I considered Derek. He was not an easy person to be with, by any means. He was very controlling and obsessive about certain things...one of those being Stephanie's weight. He constantly told her she looked fat so that she would exercise and diet like mad and stay in shape. As a result, she did stay in shape but she had a twisted self-image. He also did not tell her that he had genital herpes before having sex with her...so he gave them to her. Nice, eh? (I'm so glad our relationship never got that far! Thank God for my 17 year-old inexperience and desire to remain a virgin until marriage!) However, these were not reasons to kill a man. Divorce him, perhaps, but not to take his life. I came to my sense and decided I could not help her and I had to convince Nikki of the same.

We returned to my house and I told Steph to sit and talk to my family while Nikki and I gathered up shovels and things that we would need for our task. She agreed. Once Nik and I were outside I told her that we were not going to help Steph and that we needed to call the police. She was still in shock, eyes still wide and looking dazed, but she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number. I took the phone from her and said that I wanted to report a murder. The murderer and the murdered were at my home and help needed to arrive as quickly as possible.

We went back inside and whispered to Steph that we needed to visit with my family awhile so that they wouldn't think anything was up. She went along with it. While she was talking to my mother in the kitchen, I informed my dad and brother of the situation and let them know that we needed to keep her engaged in conversation and distracted until the police arrived.

They arrived about 30 minutes later and handcuffed her. She looked at me with very sad eyes and said, "I just couldn't take it anymore." I nodded and smiled and waved goodbye as tears welled up in my eyes. And then she was out the door and being led toward the police cruiser. I broke down crying thinking of all of the wonderful times we had shared as children. Another cop came in and said that no one else was allowed to leave until we had all been questioned. There were several officers surrounding Nikki's dad's truck, taking photographs and making notes. They sat me down to be questioned, I began my story, and then I woke up.

Murder, murder, murder. At least this time I made the right choice. I hope this dream isn't at all prophetic. I'm a little worried honestly. You see, after I dated Derek (Steph's husband) for two weeks, I knew that he wasn't for me. To let him down easier I decided to fix him up with Stephanie. On the day they were introduced, they hit it off wonderfully and they were holding hands by the evening. That evening as we were eating dinner, I glanced at their intertwined hands on the table and remembered a dream that I had had of that particular vision. The dream consisted only of that image and one thought...these two people will get married. I blurted out, "You two are going to get married." This was their first time meeting...it wasn't even a date really...so they both blushed and smiled at the suggestion and said I was crazy. Six months later I attended their wedding. Was it my suggestion that caused them to want to marry? Or was my dream truly prophetic? I think the latter.

Now with this new dream, I hope it's just all simply wild imagination. And it actually felt like that's what it was. It was too long and detailed to be prophetic. All of the dreams that I've had that have come to pass have only been glimpses...very short and not very detailed. Usually when I have them I wake up thinking, "What the hell was that? That didn't make any sense!" At any rate, I might call Steph and advise her not to kill Derek if she's unhappy. That's what friends are for, I suppose. To keep each other from murdering their significant others. :)

It's a Sad, Sad World

You know, it's pretty sad when I find myself reading my own blog for entertainment. Yup.

You know what else is sad? I turned on the TV yesterday (and this morning) and saw an infomercial for a new piece of exercise equipment that is truly only a 4 inch wide, 3 feet long piece of stretchy material. This fabulously buff woman was in a room of other fabulously buff women walking in place with this thing wrapped behind their backs, an end of it in each hand with arms extending and and contracting. The main fabulous woman was talking about how in just a few weeks YOU TOO CAN LOOK AS GOOD AS I DO, IF ONLY YOU PURCHASE THIS PRODUCT!!!!! What a crock of shite! :) Go to the goddamn gym people! Don't send this silly wench $35.95 for a strip of friggin' material!!!!

You know what else is sad? Me. Cause I miss my friends. :(

In the Pope's Rubber Robe

Since my sister's divorce in 1998, she's gone through a sort of second adolescence. She has been trying out new identities and by this process attempting to make the transformation from Rose, devoted and doting wife, to Rose, single and thirty-something single gal.

Over the past couple of years, she's startled me more than a few times during this process. First she actually started drinking and getting trashed with her friends, which blew my mind because she had been a very devout Protestant Christian for...well...ever since I've known her. The next step was piercing her ears several times. Then she got a tatoo on her ass of a little heart with an american flag in it. Then she asked me to take nude and sexy photographs of her to send to her love interest at the time who was in the military and stationed somewhere near Afghanistan. Next came the belly piercing. But that was the extend of her odd behavior...until today. :)

She just called and informed me that she was converting to Catholicism. She's been attending a Catholic church in Baltimore and says that she feels at peace after she attends a service and she really wants to become part of it all. Don't get me wrong. I fully support her decision and am open to all religions...but, truth be told, I'm still in shock! I suppose expected her to go a little wild after her divorce...but I never expected her to convert to another religion! wow.

Well, here's to God, the Pope, and my sister...may they find what they're looking for in each other. :)

"And if I lose my Cracker Jacks at the tidal wave
I got a place in the Pope's rubber robe
Muhammad my friend
It's time to tell the world
We both know it was a girl
Back in Bethlehem"

~ Tori Amos from Muhammad My Friend